welcome back to paradise! i actually used to want to be quite basic LOL. in elementary school, we had uniforms and for the two years i went to middle school (yes my middle school was two years instead of three!), i kind of resigned myself to hoodies as it was easy to cycle through the same ones. i was bullied and ostracized for the majority of this time, so all i desperately wanted was to be accepted as "normal." i was pretty bad at this thought since all i did in class was draw and talk about indie horror games with my best friend at the time LOL! by the time i was in high school in 2019 and everyone thought the future was still bright (๐), i was really trying to go for blending in, for whatever reason. but i was essentially in survival prep mode, i just didn't want to get bullied like at my elementary/middle school LOL.
hi middle school me! i had the right idea going with the phone case :P
this was december of my freshman year of high school!
i didn't really have an interest in fashion that wasn't just "being normal and fitting in" until 2020 when everyone was stuck inside because of the pandemic, cause i was too busy reading wattpad and webtoon and using my pinterest and instagram to save fandom stuff and screenshots from tumblr ☠. although tiktok was detrimental to my body image for a bit and i had to delete for my own sanity, if it weren't for the app, i would'nt be as much of a diva so i have to give credit where credit is due! honestly i think tiktok was just an evil time for everybody.
my fashion journey was definitely an interesting one and took up the majority of my high school years + first two years of college! my main genre of music i listened to was pop punk and indie, so i thought the next best course of action was to be emo, or punk, or something like that. i ended up finding riot grrl/ghoul (whichever one you call it), and the music rocked (literally)! cause wtf do y'all know about heavens to betsy or lunachicks or DAZEY AND THE SCOUTS?? i think i'd give up a leg for them to return to music oh my goddd. tangent over! kinderwhore was the closest fashion thing associated, and it was cute but didn't seem super obtainable in my current budget (high schooler with no job/allowance and only bought clothes on my birthday when my mom would let me or when we went to the mall).
what i REALLY loved at the time though was e-girl and the sanrio-esque aesthetic that came along with it. the pink and black outfits with kuromi and my melody theming–that was my SHITTT!! so i wanted to be an e-girl, but i still had a very limited budget and had to scrape together outfits from the depths of my closet:
when i tell y'all i scraped this together with the little i had... i think i stole that belt from my mom LOL
but then here comes my personal fashion nuke: i don't know what to call this style–it reminds me of what the broad term "aesthetic" meant back in 2018-19 but more evolved to coincide with the e-girl boom? simple coordinated outfits with one or two colors, vaguely inspired by j-fashion and k-fashion, throw in some accessories too, pretty simple and feminine. this along with the sanrio girl e-girl fashion, was my introduction to hyperfemininity. i was entranced quick. once my year of online school was over and i had more freedom during junior year, i went ALL IN. no more hoodies for chele (i actually hate hoodies now, matter of fact... give me a regular zip up atp)!
very cute!! she tried her best
chele the coquette girl was born ✩
also during this time, i fell heavily in love with coquette (this was around 2021-22). there was something about the simplistic femininity that felt like an easy transition between what i was wearing before and what i wanted to become that drew me in so fast! lana del rey quickly became one of my favorite artists and my dream was to own multiple pairs of heart sunglasses and wear gingham print and lace and bows in the back of my hair. i'm definitely a btd and ultraviolence truther so i'm lowkey a fake fan but WHATTEVER.
however, large parts of the coquette/girlblogger community are lowkey INSANE. i'm talking borderline ddlg, romanticizing lolita (the book), and then later on romanticizing elvis and priscilla? mind you, they're both bad people. having that lingering feeling of being associated with a bunch of young people who romanticize this basically pedo stuff (even though that wasn't the author's intention with lolita) was icky. and some of y'all think the gal community is bad LMAO... i'm a survivor of the mfing TRENCHESSS! that, along with stylistic changes, made me separate myself a bit from the community itself, but i'll always have a deep love and appreciation for the style, as it made up a large chunk of who i wanted to be :) during the summer i'll usually pull out a vintage americana coord too! i think this stuck with me the most because of how exaggerated it is compared to everything else under the coquette umbrella. i personally see it as a maximalist play on the 60s and the idealized view of america :P
when i think back on it now, what coquette was is actually real simple compared to what i enjoy nowadays. but i definitely needed that stepping stone to get to where i am today.
chele the gyaru is born ✩
i had an appreciation for harajuku and kawaii fashion before this, but i wasn't properly introduced to gyaru until 2022, and fun fact, it was actually through something i speak up quite often about now–a japanese gal (momoa i think? miss appropriator SUPREME) appropriating box braids ☠. my first thought was, 'tf is this on my TL in the big 2022?' cause it wasn't regular gyaru either or even manba, just heavy fluffy top and bottom lashes *purely* for the love of the game. but it wasn't until i saw actual black gals more and more on tiktok that my interest began to peak in the style. it also wasn't until my best friend kayla (shoutout to u queen!) gave gyaru a try that i was like 'OH MY GOD I SHOULD DO THIS TOO MAYBE.' in 2024, with absolutely zero prior makeup experience, i decided to give gyaru a go! my life has changed so much for the better since then and i've been abe to meet so many wonderful people because of it :3
nyx jumbo stick, some almost expired eyeliner, and a dream omg
let's not talk about how bad my make was...
(fun fact i didn't have plumeria hair clips so i stole a fake flower from my house and attached it to my hair somehow LOLLL)
or my coords... okay miss tsuyohime slop
much better!
i reached two years of gal-hood this past may! YIPPEE!!! honestly it was a long time coming and i get so much better the longer i do my gal make. i basically spent almost the entirety of 2025 perfecting my make and i'm at a pretty good spot now! my next goals are to get some wigs for morigami/sujimori, get sized for and buy some color contacts, and get some more magazines. overall goal is HIT BIG VET STATUS!!!
my favorite substyles are hime, agejo, ya/manba, banba, and tsuyome. before gyaru, i actually wanted to be a lolita! i was really drawn to that hyperfeminine/princess-like silhouette and because i knew about lolita already, i thought that was the best way to go. HOWEVER, COMMA, i was a broke high schooler (it was junior year of high school when i said i wanted to try egl fashion). no way was i getting any JSKs or OPs in the near future, so i gave up immediately. this is why i love hime gyaru, agejo, and hime-kei overall so much! i'm also not the biggest fan of the length for lolita ops and jsks (i love short anything) so this not being so rigid of a dress requirement in hime is amazing for me.
notice how i didn't try to change or argue with a pre-existing community's guidelines for my own personal taste, but found something else that aligns more closely with what my preferences are...? exactly. anyways...
i'll give the EGL community a +1, since because of the tight entry barrier, you REALLY gotta love EGL and be committed to it since it's a hell of a money investment. and their community doesn't seem as badly affected by the current dumb-assery plaguing all alternative subcultures rn.
chele the 2000s diva is born ✩
right around when i got into gyaru, i also became interested in 2000s fashion and mcbling! i LOVE LOVE LOVE JUICY COUTURE. if there is one brand imma stay loyal to, it's vintage juicy couture. not a single miss EVER. i need tracksuits in all my favorite colors (working on it rn!) and my favorite bags have been my daydreamers. i love mcbling because i love juicy couture, but i also love the overall vibe of the style (and glittery bold smoky eye makeup).
but, i'm not the biggest fan of the solely pink and black in mcbling (which is crazy considering i love pink and black agejo... SUE ME. I LOVE MA*RS PRINT. IDGAF WHAT U THINK!). it felt pretty limiting, so i did a bit more digging and expanded to 2000s girly hyperfemininity/bimbocore. think the girl's next door (especially bridget!!), the house bunny, etc.! i love how exaggerated the hyperfemininity is but flexible for the everyday, and how, especially with holly, bridget and kendra, their personality traits (that kind of got associated with a lot of playmates because of over-generalization by the general population) were just them remaining true to themselves and their interests. i also ADORE shelley (i'm basically her) and see a lot of myself in her and her story throughout the house bunny! i could honestly write a dissertation on why i relate to her so much cause that movie means so much to me.
i may just have to do more research but i'm not too pressed to use the bimbocore label personally, though not gonna lie i am in fact a very dumb blonde so it fits me pretty well LOL! i just don't have as strong of a connection to it compared to gyaru or mcbling, so i use 2000s girly/hyperfeminine instead.
it's been more of my personal goal to incoporate more of this look into my style, or at the very least mix the outfit choices with my gal make! my goal is to look like shelley ๐
aww so cute ignore how flat my french curls are
chele the fashionista today ✩
what is so beautiful about my fashion journey is that even though i thought i wanted/had to wear mainly black to participate in fashion through my music taste, i slowly saw myself getting drawn closer and closer to pink and ultimately hyperfemininity. i love how my brain knew subconsciously what it wanted from the get-go, but just needed a little push to bring it to the conscious. a part of me wonders if i would have been as entranced by hime gyaru and 2000s hyperfemininity the way i am now if i discovered it in 2020? a part of me thinks i wouldn't have because my brain wouldn't have had the time to break down the connotations that being feminine is okay.
ah yes, Society™. the usual right? i had a kinda interesting perspective on femininity? it's weird considering that i grew up the Weird Black Girl™ so i was basically ostracized from everyone but the other weird kids–including the girls who acted as my small snippet into "typical" black femininity (keep in mind i live in the burbs...). mind you, all i wanted was to be accepted (and since that was too much of an ask, just to be left alone). that resentment from the bullying basically made me reject anything remotely feminine. i was a self-proclaimed tomboy, my favorite color was red because, according to sixth grade me logic, it made me "look sexy" (GIRL PIPE DOWN U WERE A CHILD...), and a lovely "kawaii potato" once i got to middle school yeah i basically lived up to that meme LOL.
fast forward to high school, and a part of me felt really disconnected from the idea of womanhood because i didn't want to be viewed as an object for the rest of my life (Society™, again, sigh) and i wanted to be viewed for who i was. so i identified as demigirl and went by they/she and then she/they from junior/senior year up until sophomore year-ish of college?
as borderline corporate slop as it was, it was the barbie movie of all mfing things that made me realize that I Can Still Be Me And A Girl Lol. i had a strong connection with barbie growing up–they were the only fashion dolls i could really buy, i used to rent barbie movies at my local library, and princess charm school is one of my favorite movies!!–so it makes sense that the movie about my favorite doll line was able to get that message to me. gender is made up anyway but i confused my utter resentment for patriarchy and men with dysphoria. but my ID as a demigirl helped me realize i don't want to go by my legal name so shoutout to all my demigirls and nonbinary people!! love u all very much, stay strong soldiers.
ngl i need a movie re-release cause this outfits mid...
would i call hyperfemininity a shield? probably, as anything leaning close to bimbo or manba does an EXCELLENT job of scaring away most guys (both a positive and a negative, and a whole other thing i gotta work on OOPS), but it's also my truest form of self-expression. i've had one of my besties tell me about a conversation she and my other friends had, with one of them remarking that i didn't realize that men actually like hyperfemininity and that they actually enjoy it. this is a great reminder that my biggest aspiration is to achieve the tsuyome manba look. men run in fear when they see that cause they don't know what it is. and every time i dress relatively "normal"-er (which isn't a lot) i still get absolutely zero play, but i appreciate the sentiment twin ๐ . i fear most men in my current area tend to go more for the black baddie look. i'm a cutie patootie and that's a-okay!
living in my own girly world is so much fun!!! i am so happy in my gyaru make, i love being blonde all the time, i love pink everything, i love lace and ruffles and bows, i love glitter and bling and maximalism and being trashy and sunshine and rainbows!! it's like after all of this time, i'm finally seeing the baddie within and it's because i chose to be a princess :)
judith butler famously said that gender is a performance. while that is mainly true, the show i choose to put on consists of the craziest mash-up of 'Super GALS!' and 'The Girl's Next Door'. so, quite the performance, huh?
all my love,
chele ♡
